Thursday, December 17, 2009

Time Magazine Names Helicopter Ben Person of the Year! Joe Names him Wool Puller of the Year

Ronald Reagan once warned to never trust a man who says, "Hello, I'm from the Government and I'm here to help." Joe Shareholder once warned to never trust someone who says, "Hello, I'm from a quasi-government agency and I'm here to help". That's right, the Federal Reserve isn't really a government agency. (Joe, halfway house) It's more like a banking cartel that happens to print money and establish monetary policy for the US Government. Anywho, when Joe Shareholder found out that Time Magazine named Helicopter Ben the 2009 Person of the Year, potato chips went flying at the computer screen, behind the computer screen, down the back of the computer desk, and all over the baseboards. Grease doesn't come off the screen very well by the way. Back to business now. Actually, it's not really that surprising considering how many people think this recession is over, and also how many people have gotten wool pulled down so far over their eyes they get market-disorientation-disorder (MDD). Joe Shareholder gave Ben an award also, "Wool Puller of the year, 2009". Until now, Joe didn't realize one of the main commodity investments of the Fed is wool, which is used to pull down over your eyes. Back to business again. What is surprising, however, is how the Federal Reserve Banking Cartel has been able to pull this off, er, over for so long now. With wool consistently over your eyes, it's surprising the US Taxpayer hasn't struggled to free itself to see clearly yet. Apparently to Time Magazine it's become comforting in this cold weather storm. Which isn't over by the way.

Now for the truth about Ben Bernanke, lift the wool up for a second to see these previous posts:
Newsflash to Time Magazine, the Federal Reserve Banking Cartel doesn't place the US taxpayer first on the priority list. Sure, they care about the US Taxpayer, but kind of like how Tiger Woods cares about mistress #4. He sees her from time to time, and has moments in which the two are very close, but at the end of the day, she's not his top priority. The Federal Reserve and Tiger Woods have other similarities also, but this is a family friendly blog, so you won't find them here. Back to business a third time. The Federal Reserve Bank exists for one reason, and that is to protect the interests of the big banks. Joe Shareholder's brother, Moe, recently discovered the Federal Reserve Bank's priority list:
  1. Goldman Sachs (Fed's AAA minor league ball club)
  2. JP Morgan Chase (Fed, only under a different name)
  3. Citigroup
  4. Bank of America
  5. Morgan Stanley
  6. Destroy the US Dollar
  7. Wells Fargo
  8. Bank of NY
  9. Ruin the US Dollar
  10. Sacrifice Lehman
  11. Turn the US Dollar into fancy green toilet paper
  12. American Express
  13. US Taxpayer (but mainly when bailouts are necessary)
What does this mean for Joe? It means Joe better end this post....and quick. Indeed, black helicopters are starting to swirl up above.....Lincoln Towncars with tinted windows are starting to appear in strange places, from strange places, and Joe's inbox is starting to get flooded by .gov email addresses, which should really be .quasi-gov email addresses. Whoa, what's this? An email from JoAnn saying "Help Me!" An email from JoAnn's mother titled, "strange men in shades standing at my door", and an email from Joe's mother "house broken into, but nothing is gone...strange". Email from Moe titled, "phone's bugged!". Before we all start shouting Kum Bah Yah about the recession being over, first check to see if your eyes are itching.

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