Wednesday, September 16, 2009

History of Joe and JoAnn - How they met - Part 1 of 2

Joe Shareholder was in his third year at St. Joe’s University near Philadelphia when he scored a summer internship at Lehman Brothers in New York. His job was to follow technical trading patterns and trade based on daily fluctuations. He traded all day long, but closed all positions by the end of the day. He was trained by a rookie trader named JoAnn who excelled at the position.

JoAnn grew up in a small community called Joetown in Morgan County, Ohio. She graduated from the University of Ohio State with a finance degree and accepted a job offer from Lehman Brothers shortly thereafter. Before Lehman Brothers fell on hard times and declared bankruptcy in the summer of 2008, JoAnn saw the writing on the wall (Joe Clairvoyancy) and sent her resume to various financial/investment companies in the area. She soon received an offer from “The-Company-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Disclosed”, who happened to be one of the premier investment banks in New York City. At first she thought this was a perfect fit, but later discovered some disturbing things about “The-Company-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Disclosed”.

First of all, she felt like TCWSNBD manipulated commodity markets. She found it ironic that they’d issue press release statements upgrading certain commodities and stocks immediately after establishing strong positions in them. (Joe conflict of interest) Take crude oil for example. Each time TCWSNBD announced crude oil futures would rise to X amount, it eventually did - largely because oil was bid up by investors rather than actual commodity users. (Joe Smoke and his twin brother John Mirrors) This padded the pockets of execs at TCWSNBD, but hurt the average Joe’s filling up their cars and trucks with fuel. (Joe Cruel Oil, not Crude)

Her distaste for TCWSNBD was exacerbated when AIG needed taxpayer support after the stock market crashed in Sept/Oct 2008. Mega-insurer AIG owed TCWSNBD considerable amounts of money when stocks tumbled because of credit default swaps gone sour. Credit default swaps are basically insurance securities protecting an investment in case stocks fail. (Joe high stakes poker) Instead of demanding payment through asset liquidation (Joe face the music), or even simply share in the losses of AIG (Joe - at least turn an ear to the music) she felt TCWSNBD used strong-arm tactics with the gov to bailout AIG so they’d get the full amount owed. Indeed, after AIG received the bailout funds under the guise of “too big to fail”, a good chunk of change was funneled directly to TCWSNBD as well as many other CWSHND either.

JoAnn eventually decided she’d had enough big city banking so she quit her job and returned to Joetown. Upon hearing this news Joe randomly decided he’d pull the plug and move there as well. When JoAnn asked why he also wanted to move there, Joe simply replied he’d always wanted to live there one day and said the town was very “attractive”. Joe soon invited JoAnn to the annual city Joe-Down, which is a hoedown to anyone not familiar with Morgan County. She accepted and they had a great time dancing to the country music with good ‘ol country folk. (Joe, facing the music and JoAnn at the same time).

1 comment:

  1. wow you're a great shareholder! God bless to both of you.


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